Thursday, January 1, 2015
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Quiet mornings
As I lay here watching the sun rise with all of my littles sleeping peacefully, I have some quiet time to reflect. I've been doing a lot of that lately. I've been searching for more contentment and peace and I've found so much gratitude for the little things.
Just a week ago it dawned on me that it has been 6 months since one of the longest, hardest days of our lives. Six months since Sutton's first surgery (and 6 months today since his second surgery). We've been on this path of re-teaching him to eat and drink and it has felt SO long and tedious, but it's only been 6 months. Sutton is still taking all food by mouth and about half of his liquids. We didn't have to fight an oral aversion, despite him having every reason to be, and he's as motivated as ever. Gratitude.
As Kedric was getting ready for work this morning and I was feeding Isaac, I commented how big he was for a 4.5 week old. Then I realized, we were just being discharged from the NICU at this stage in Sutton's life. Sutton was still at birth weight; he seemed so little and fragile. I was scared to bring him home. We had refused around the clock monitoring, but he had a large mass pressing on his airway. With Isaac, I don't have any of these concerns. He's a little congested, but we're not making a Christmas trip to the ER like we did with Sutton last year for the same thing. Gratitude.
When I have quiet little moments like this to reflect at the path God has set before us, I have more gratitude than ever before. That space used to be filled with turmoil, fear and anxiety. I used to wonder "why my baby?" and "why our family?". I do still wonder those same things some times, but now I ask those questions with thanks and wonder instead of anger and hurt.
My, what a difference a year (or two) makes.
The happiest of holiday seasons, from our family to yours!
Photo by Stella Studios
Friday, December 5, 2014
Loving little
Big and middle are really digging having little around. Sutton loves to pat his head gently and Cohen is always asking to hold him or making sure I know when he is hungry. Seriously, having boys is the best.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Happy Thanksgiving (early)!
On Thursday, November 20 at 11:02 a.m. we welcomed Isaac Henry Busch to our family. There was such an overwhelming sense of gratitude and relief all at once. Cohen could not be more excited to have another baby brother to love on and Sutton could not be more indifferent. At least he is indifferent and not mad!
For those of you that have been following Sutton's short, very eventful life, you can imagine what an experience Isaac's birth was for both Kedric and myself - even though he is our third baby. After Sutton's birth and unexpected condition, I was fearful of what Isaac's birth and the time thereafter would be like. I had such extensive anxiety about what *might* happen again that I didn't know if I would be able to manage my birthing time and pain control. I had given birth to both Cohen and Sutton without any medical pain management (by choice, that's the way I prefer it), but the fear that surrounded Sutton's birth was looming so heavy overhead that I didn't think I would be able to do it again. Enter HypnoBabies. I know lots of women use it for home birthing or for pain management during labor, but I was using it strictly for anxiety management. And it worked beautifully!
I could never explain to someone that hasn't had anything other than a "normal" birth what a blessing it is to not have your baby taken away, to not have a neonatologist come and chat with you, and to not leave the hospital without your baby. It is a HUGE blessing. I can't put Isaac down. I am so thankful for his health, for the lack of complications after his birth, for having pictures of him after he was born. I am so thankful for the normalcy we have been given again.
We have much to be thankful for this year. It seems a little turbulence in one's life offers spectacular perspective. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone else. I hope you all find as much to be thankful for as our family has.
Isaac Henry Busch
11.20.2014 at 11:02 a.m.
8# 2.4 oz and 21.25 inches
For those of you that have been following Sutton's short, very eventful life, you can imagine what an experience Isaac's birth was for both Kedric and myself - even though he is our third baby. After Sutton's birth and unexpected condition, I was fearful of what Isaac's birth and the time thereafter would be like. I had such extensive anxiety about what *might* happen again that I didn't know if I would be able to manage my birthing time and pain control. I had given birth to both Cohen and Sutton without any medical pain management (by choice, that's the way I prefer it), but the fear that surrounded Sutton's birth was looming so heavy overhead that I didn't think I would be able to do it again. Enter HypnoBabies. I know lots of women use it for home birthing or for pain management during labor, but I was using it strictly for anxiety management. And it worked beautifully!
I could never explain to someone that hasn't had anything other than a "normal" birth what a blessing it is to not have your baby taken away, to not have a neonatologist come and chat with you, and to not leave the hospital without your baby. It is a HUGE blessing. I can't put Isaac down. I am so thankful for his health, for the lack of complications after his birth, for having pictures of him after he was born. I am so thankful for the normalcy we have been given again.
We have much to be thankful for this year. It seems a little turbulence in one's life offers spectacular perspective. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone else. I hope you all find as much to be thankful for as our family has.
Isaac Henry Busch
11.20.2014 at 11:02 a.m.
8# 2.4 oz and 21.25 inches
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
"For we live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Dining out
This is a BIG DEAL. I know I say that a lot, but it always feels huge to feel more normal.
We have not been able to eat a meal out for quite some time because there is lots of coughing, spitting things out and suctioning. It would have made for a stressful experience for us and other patrons don't really want to listen to all of that when they enjoy a meal out.
About 2 weeks ago we all felt ready to give it a whirl for breakfast and it went great! A little coughing, but nothing that was unmanageable. Sutton sure enjoyed himself, too!
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